How to Face Your Fears As an Online Entrepreneur & Turn Them Into A Positive Mindset
As exciting as being an online entrepreneur is, there is one aspect that is difficult to talk about…. Those underlying fears on the back of your mind. Would it not be great to have an easy, step-by-step technique to face your fears and turn them into a positive mindset?
Your journey as an online entrepreneur is full of unknowns, surprises, great dares, satisfaction and some disappointments... yes these too!
And while it is a super exciting prospect to be in control of your own destiny, it can be and it is scary!
So many things that you do for the first time.
The unknown of whether they will work.
The anxiety of how others will judge you.
The financial tensions…
What about using your natural fears, understand them, build responses to face them and turn your fears into positive energy!
I know… It feels hard to face your fears…
How many times have you stopped yourself from doing something?
How many times have you wondered why you didn’t do something... and concluded you feared something?
How many times you start feeling unwell when you are going to do something challenging?
Have you managed to overcome your fears and realised that the doing is far better than the fearing state?
Some of these examples might resonate with you:
All of these examples and many more are totally normal.
They are our built-in defence mechanism to the unknown. They are also a defence mechanism to things that have left a negative memory back in time. Our brain tries to avoid them again.
Fears are auto-responses our body has programmed in order to escape an unknown future or a repeat of a painful past.
Fear is a natural and healthy reaction. And you don’t need to be in true danger to be fearful!
It is also scientifically proven that the more fear you feel, the scarier things will seem. Hence why it is soooooo crucial to face your fears and convert them into positivity.
Fear also dictates the actions you take. Use your natural fears, understand them, build responses to face them and turn your fears into positive energy!
Let’s see how to achieve this!
Nothing worst than feeling something isn’t right with you but not knowing why? You need to know something is wrong to be able to fix it. Build awareness of what you are going through to face it.
It seems simple enough, it makes sense, doesn’t it? So let’s look at some very simple day-to-day examples.
So when it comes to your fears, it is exactly the same. In order to face them and harness them, you need to understand them first.
So let’s work on establishing a few habits and techniques to help surface and express your fears. You will be well aware of some of your fears, some will be much deeper hidden.
Let’s look at how fear makes you feel.
Digging into your fears may feel quite uncomfortable at the beginning, specially if you have not done it before.
It is just as simple as giving it a go though! Nothing complex. Nothing to be scared of! 😀
You may have read many times that to journal is a good therapy for fear and anxiety.
The point about a journal is the fact that it helps you express yourself. You reflect when you write. It stops you from the frenetic doing and helps you think about what you are going through.
There are a few ways to achieve the same outcome.
I am personally someone who does not tend to say things aloud. I am also not into journals. I like to find moments during my day to reflect.
Reflection is a sort of meditation that drives you to look at yourself as an outsider.
Expressing your fears is the first step to create awareness of fears you are experiencing.
Fear does not only influence your thoughts, it also impacts you physically.
Can you feel it in your body?
As with the example of the course creator above, fear comes in many shades:
Stomach pain
Physically sick
Dizziness
Difficulty in concentrating, confusion
Sweat
Out of breath
Palpitations
Back ache
Headache
Loss of appetite or feeling hungry (yeah, you can also feel hungry!)
The list goes on…
Whether is through your thoughts or through your body, fear creates consequences which depend on your personality.
Inaction, paralysis
Panic
Feeling of being out of control, powerless
Shame
Self-consciousness
No will to get out of bed or wanting to go to bed throughout the day to escape reality
Agitation
Hyperactivity
Lack of focus.
Rushed decisions (doing before thinking)
Lack of sleep
Some of these might feel very familiar.
Now that you can spot episodes of fear quicker, it is time to move to a second essential element to face them.
Let’s look at ways to understand what is causing the fear.
When you want to understand your fears, you can quickly falsely believe that you understand the reasons.
Be mindful!
Fears are like any other challenge. You need to understand the true underlying reason for them…, not just the symptoms or the superficial reasons, to face.
You can tackle issues when you identify the true root cause.
Finding the root cause is not that easy, because often they touch deep feelings or past experiences that we don’t necessarily want to make surface.
Many times, we are unconscious of the root cause of our fears. It takes a bit of time, patience and openness to get there. You need to accept some vulnerability. That’s why it is important that, if you decide to work on your fears with someone, you have a very open relationship, one where you are ok to reveal things that are very personal to you.
In order to get to the underlying reasons for your fears, the 5 Why’s method works really well and it super simple to follow! Have a look at the example below.
The 5 Why’s method requires you to systematically go deeper and deeper, 5 times, to keep on looking for the underlying reasons for a behaviour or a thought of fear.
When you apply this method, give yourself time. Time to answer the next why. To reflect. To breath. To think about it. To let yourself look deeper in the next answer.
The deeper you go with the layers of why’s, the more vulnerable you will feel, the more you will get to places that might be difficult to face. So take your time. Accept that you may feel moved by your answers. It is ok. It is ok to feel unease when you start finding some of the root causes. That means you are getting to the good answers.
And why does it matter to go deep?
Because it is only when you get to the real reasons that you can truly face your fears. Your true gremlins.
There is no point in taking a medicine that is not for the right illness. This is the same.
There are a series of causes for fear, mindset fears, that are common in online entrepreneurs. It is very handy to be aware of them as they guide you in your search for your own reasons for fears to convert them into positive mindset.
There are plenty of other types of fear. This blog is not a generic essay on fears, it is focused on the mindset fears facing you as an entrepreneur.
Fears are often anchor in the past, from events that we may well have buried in our memory. I really mean bury, in the sense that there may be events in your past that were so painful, mentally or physically, that your unconscious defence mechanism to move on was to forget them.
These are some of the reasons that are difficult to make surface, where the 5 Why’s method can help, when done with deep reflection and time. Sometimes it can take quite a long time to get to the full awareness of them.
There is no point in trying to list all types of past negative events. However, the point to note is that there are experiences from the past that may have marked you negatively and could be affecting you unconsciously nowadays.
On the other hand, it is not always about how others have marked us. It is frequent to have self imposed insecurities and self-criticism.
How you perceive yourself is an ingredient to your fears.
We all have some insecurities!
Yes, self-imposed insecurities, many completely baseless, that we perceive as absolute truth and that make us feel fear and stop us from moving forward.
Due to the expectations we have built up in our minds through the years, it is very common to fear failure.
Many times:
You expect too much from yourself. These are self-imposed expectations.
You set the goal post too high. You expect too much of yourself and you are constantly in a loop of disappointments.
Other times, people around you impose high expectations on you and pressure you to achieve, deliver, succeed, not fail…
This pressure becomes truly unhealthy when it is not aligned with your own goals and dreams.
And sometimes it is simply the combination of both, self and externally imposed expectations.
The fear of disappointing others and yourself grows exponentially.
At the opposite spectrum of the fear of failure, you have the fear of success.
It can manifest itself by the lack of action or initiative.
It is more common than you may think in entrepreneurs and it can relate to the misalignment between the person goals and the person real true self. It translate into a fear to succeed.
Have you noticed? Some people always see things positively and others tend to always see what and why things won’t work.
It is truly not the purpose of this blog to go into why some people seem to be positive and others negative.
The point is that your fears can simply come from the way you approach life generally.
Have you got that vision of inevitability? Do you recognise these thoughts?
‘I could do this but what if….?’
‘What about all these problems, risks and issues…?’
‘This thing won’t work because there are so many things wrong this it…’
The language is very telling.
These thoughts are very common. Nothing to be ashamed of. It is a perspective of life and future events that has built up from your past, from your education, from your personality…
It is a sort of glasses some people wear to look at life. Some look at things with positivity and abundance, some with negativity and scarcity.
What’s important is to develop the awareness of the ‘colour of your own glasses’ when you look at life.
Don’t worry if you think you have a scarcity mindset. You can train your brain and your perspective! For now, it is about just going deep to identify true root causes for your fears.
Do you fear you won’t be successful because you think you have not achieved any big in the past?
It is easier to believe in success when you have experienced it before.
But the reality is that you have experienced successes. But, if you don’t celebrate your successes frequently enough, you might think you haven’t succeeded before.
That perception of lack of success creates fears as an entrepreneur.
Wait…
I can hear you saying.
‘I know I have achieved stuff in my life but I am starting my journey as an entrepreneur and I have not yet achieved much.’
Ok, I hear you.
Fears also build up when you plan, read much and have not get got into action yet. You are in the theory before reality.
Action is a way forward! Get small wins to start believing in the bigger goals!
There is a very natural and common fear among many. The fear of change. The fear of the unknown.
When things change or are going to change, there is a natural reaction that comes along with the unknown. Fear.
It tends to be more acute when the change is imposed on you, meaning you have not decided to trigger it. Generally people don’t like change because it creates uncertainty. Would you lose things you had before? Would your way of life be affected? What if this does not work for you?
Change is evolution and progress and it comes with natural anxieties because you don’t know what is behind that new door!
Yet again, it is super normal to feel this way.
Look at the curve below. It shows the known mental states you will experience when face with change.
The more you are aware of where you are in the curve of change, the more you can move quickly into moving forward to pursue the opportunity in an abundance minset.
Ok, ok, I admit… That whole section wasn’t easy! Reading about fears isn’t the most uplifting thing!
Remember, the whole point about knowing them is to have a repertoire of reasons so that it helps you identify your own ones to combat them, and transform them into positive energy.
So let’s look at how to transform your fears into positive energy!
Good news!!!!
You have already done the first step to combat your fears!
The worse fears are the ones we suffer unconsciously, as you discover at the beginning of this blog, because they stop you but you are not conscious that your lack of progress is due to your own fears.
You have already read how to make them surface! Let’s recap.
Now that you are aware of your fears and underlying reasons, you are going to do something much easier than you think.
Normalise them!
What?!!!!
Yeap!!! To combat fear it is essential to accept it is TOTALLY normal to feel it. The best have fears!
So fear isn’t a sign of how good or not you are. It is a natural feeling that some experience more acutely than others. It is a defence mechanism the human body developed hundreds of years ago to keep us safe from external attacks like animals in the wild. Our body is wired to feel fear.
It is ok not to be ok and feel fear.
Second, accept imperfections!
How many times do you self impose fear on something you are going to do for the fear of not getting it perfect or not succeeding?
The fact is things can go wrong. It is all learnings and feedback.
Imperfections are beautiful because they show we are all human.
Failures makes you stronger because you know more.
I know, there are some failures we could have done without! Because it was painful and you wish it did not happen.
However…
What seemed a horror yesterday can open up other possibilities tomorrow. It is from the errors that you learn the most.
Mistakes and failures are sources of great inspiration, creativity and progress.
Did you know that some of the best recipes have been found as a result of a mistake!
Creators need to experiment.
Innovation only works with plenty of failures, remember that!
Imperfections are beautiful. Perfection is artificial. Be authentic. We all make mistakes. Embrace them!
We have so many examples of imperfection being beautiful these days!
Social media has evolved from the perfect Insta photo to live Facebook or Insta, with you and your imperfections.
In a nutshell, don’t try to bury your fears. Surface them and accept they are normal.
Imperfections or failures happen and are only a step into your next chapter.
Despite all of the above being true, I totally get it!
Fears upset us. That is also totally normal too. Sometimes is not as easy as saying to ourselves that everything is ok.
What is scientifically proven is that the more you think about fear, the more intense fear you will feel. Make sense, doesn’t it?
So in order to stop the cycle of fear, to avoid your fears feeling bigger and bigger, let’s play a trick with your brain.
Distract yourself.
Change what your brain is focusing on. Let me give you a simple example.
You see why it works? It is a brain trick.
Distract the brain from focusing on the fear so that the fear disappears.
There are many ways to distract your brain from fear. Interestingly, using one or more of your 5 senses works really well.
What do I mean???
If you think about this, this technique also works well with a kid that is really upset. Distraction. It may take a while, I know!
Give it a go and discover what distractions work best for you!
There is some quite comforting with fear: to surround yourself with someone who can support you when you are experiencing it. The same way that children call out in the middle of the night when they have a nightmare.
Share your fears with someone you can freely open up to. It will help you:
articulate what you are going through and why.
get a different perspective to your fears.
establish an accountability buddy who will support you and help you stick to what you need to do to combat your fears (it can be a family member, a friend, a coach for instance).
Doing this is easier for extroverts than introverts, who struggle to open up to others, I get it.
Still, try it. Try to find that one person who from time to time, you can open up to.
It might feel uncomfortable when you do it the first time. It is. And it is ok if you feel sad, or anxious, or ashamed. No one is judging you. You feel that because you have bottled up your fears for a long time. Sometimes expressing them lets the pressure that you have been accumulating come out at once. Don’t be surprised if you cry. It is very, very normal.
It is not a sign that your fears are true, it is a sign that you need to face them to unlock yourself from them because they are affecting and limiting you.
The above exercise also helps understand that you are not alone in your feelings and others are going through similar experiences. That in itself is super comforting, as it helps you open your eyes to the fact that there is nothing wrong with what you are going through. It helps normalise it.
And do you remember? Normalising your fears is an important step to harnessing them to be stronger.
So now you get it! Find yourself positivity around you and people you can open up to.
Surround yourself with key people who can help you bounce back and remove your psychological constrains.
There is an element of fear that come from the unknown… I touched on it before, when talking about the fear to change.
Planning is a simple technique to follow when stepping into the unknown to feel more in control.
Would it not feel better to prep a webinar than just to jump in with no prep, hoping for the best but fearing the worst?
And remember the golden rule of plans… they are a living thing. Things happen and you need to adapt. Don’t see that as failure. That is absolute great leadership: flexibility to the unknown to turn challenges into opportunities.
Here is a little secret about how to justify something when you are finding it difficult to justify it.
This is widely used in the corporate world to assess large investments and get business cases approved by senior execs.
Do you know what it is?
The do-nothing scenario.
What is that?
It is quite a simple concept but VERY powerful.
It consists in articulating the impact of not doing something. Many times people try to take a decision on the basis of assessing the upside of doing it. That’s great and necessary.
The do-nothing scenario is doing the opposite: what will happen if you don’t do it?
It is a simple and super powerful concept: what’s the alternative if you don’t face your fears.
One thing is clear: the more real the threat, the more heroic your actions to face your fears will be.
You have now a great range of techniques to face and overcome your fears!
You are aware of your own fears.
You have dig deep to understand the underlying reasons.
You have normalised your fears and have accepted your imperfections and failures as learning opportunities.
You have identified your preferred mechanisms to distract your brain from fears.
You have surrounded yourself of positivity and a support network.
You plan and prep to reduce anxiety.
You know how to assess the do-nothing consequences of not facing your fears.
So what is left to consolidate all of this and turn fears into your strengths?
Simple!
Don’t try to combat all your fears at once. Little steps by little steps are a great way to prove to yourself that you can.
Choose from time to time to take a big leap of faith. Because the bigger the fear, the more you can convince yourself that despite all of the techniques to fight fears, you are not yet ready.
Not true! It is your brain tricking you…
Just keep remembering that one thing: doing is so much better than doing-nothing.
When you do nothing, you are sure not to gain, when you try, you may get hurt in the process but you open up all the possibilities in front of you!
So the final secret sauce is based on four elements:
TRAIN yourself to face small fears, regularly.
ELIMINATE the unnecessary fears, self imposed, the threats that are not real.
They can affect you as much as the real threats.
The point is to develop the ability to spot unnecessary fears quickly and understand they are distractions. They do not deserve your efforts.
A good example as a comparison is a baby of toddler who cries for attention versus a kid who is truly in distress (in pain, hungry/thirsty, cold/hot…).
THE BIG PICTURE: Go back to the why you doing what you do.
At the end of the day, you will only face your fears and transform them into powerful actions if you have a very good reason, a strong motivation to really try.
What do you really want? What are your goals that mobilise you to put you through this?
What do you dream of?
Remind yourself why it makes total sense to raise to your fears. Your mission, your dreams, your goals. Always keep in mind the bigger picture.
FACE the real challenges you are confronted with:
These are the ones more difficult to raise to but the ones that you have to face to follow your dreams.
For example, the fear of going live in your first webinar, knowing that you have the financial need to generate enough revenue from selling your online course to pay your bills at the end of the month.
When you face your fears in this context, you are transforming them into positive energy.
You are raising to the occasion.
Your fears are no longer problems or challenges, but opportunities to grow.
You move from a scarcity mindset to an abundance one.
The deep satisfaction you will gain is unmeasurable! Just try!
By combatting your fears you win battles, some small some big, against those hidden forces in your brain that are trying to stop you.
Celebrate! Celebrate any moment you have managed to get over one of your fears.
By creating positive reinforcement for you, you will bit by bit try more.
The inner you will start registering unconsciously that trying brings goodness. And you will try more. Cool!!!
Get yourself a treat when you overcome a fear. Do something that makes you happy as a mini celebration:
Take a relaxing bath.
Do a celebratory mini dance.
Take a mini break during the day.
Tell your support network around you.
Put some music on.
Put some money in your accountability jar.
Go for a walk.
Ot whatever is good for you!
Move to action and celebrate small achievements. It feels sooooooooooo much better than fearland.
The absolute best part of fears as an entrepreneur is that, despite the fact you always have fears, you can master them… and when you have overcome them… you feeeeeeeeeeel soooo gooooood!
Now you have it, a full system to turn your fears into positive energy, motivation and ability to face more.
Fears are our built-in defence mechanism to the unknown. They are also a defence mechanism to things that have left a negative memory back in time. Our brain tries to avoid them again.
Fears are auto-responses our body has programmed to escape an unknown future or a repeat of a painful past.
Fear is a natural and healthy reaction. You don’t need to be in true danger to be fearful.
Express your thoughts when you feel fear.
Understand how fear is physically manifesting itself.
Understand how fear is affecting you.
Identify the true root cause for your fears, the true underlying reasons.
Use the 5 Why’s method to systematically go deeper and deeper 5 times to look for the underlying reasons for your fears.
It is ok to feel moved by your answers.
Next time you are impacted by your fears:
Take some time to follow the 5 Why's method.
Ensure that you are in a quiet place and you have time to go through the 5 questions without rushing.
It is important that you give yourself permission to say things that you may not find easy to hear.
Something in your past
Insecurities about yourself
The fear of failure
The fear of success
A negative perspective to things in general
The lack of precedent for success
The fear of change
Acknowledge them, build awareness of the fear
Normalise fear, imperfections and failure
Distract yourself
Surrounding yourself with support & positivity
Planning & prepping
Think about the consequences of succumbing to the fear, the do-nothing scenario
Turn the fear into your strength
Convert your fears into strength and positive energy:
Train yourself to face small fears, regularly.
Eliminate the unnecessary fears that are energy suckers and distractions.
Use the big picture to remind you why it really matters that you raise to your deep fears.
Face the real challenges that matter to get you closer to your dreams.
Celebrate! Celebrate any moment you know you have managed to get over one of your fears.
By creating positive reinforcement for you, you will, bit by bit, try more and more to face your fears.
Get yourself a treat when you overcome a fear.
Celebrate little wins.
Celebrate big achievements.
Your celebrations will help you
What next?
Nothing better to belief you can face your fears than trying!!!
Start small. try to face a small one… celebrate when you do and keep on going.
You can do this! Do you know why?
Because you want to do it! Otherwise, you would not have read this whole blog and reached this point!
So you have the most important: will, motivation.
Now you also have the 7-step method to help you face your fears and turn them into positive mindset!
Time to put it to practice! It will feel greeeeeeat!
And please, don’t forget to tell me:
A HUGE thank you for being with me with this post.
It is an absolute privilege to know that you read and find value in my blog!
Don’t forget to get your Free Visuals Collection if you have not got it yet to help you with free Pinterest templates as well as styled photos and video for business use*.
Hi! I’m Isabel
For years and years I have created and produced content, in particular visual content. You can find me very often with my cameras and tripod out and about!
My passion: to help you with your online presence and drive business growth through my blog and visuals collections (marketing templates, styled photos & video).
Ah, I have also worked for 24+ in the corporate world, leading quite a mix: transformation, marketing, coaching, sales, productivity, programme management, investments and product management.
I love sharing all these skills with you in my blog.
I am also founder of Agavea Properties, our family holiday rental business. My husband and I lead it with the passion with one goal in mind: serving our customers to create a memorable holiday experience for them.
So there you have it, that’s me! Ah... I almost forgot, my happy place is by the sea.
Thanks for being here with me!